start being happy now
How are you feeling about life? Do you feel satisfied or unsatisfied with your quality of living?
If you’re feeling unsatisfied, what needs to shift, or what is it that you need to be happy or content with your life?
Are you waiting for that next promotion or your next 20% pay increase to be happy? How about a purchase of a home or your first investment property? Do you need to be making $200,000 per year, or $300,000? A million? 500 million dollars? What’s your number for happiness?
What would it take for you to say, “I’m living that Good Good life? Life is beautiful!”
From the outside looking in, people might say you have a great career, you make great money, you have a great network, you're a great friend, you’re fun to be around (the list goes on!).
“What could YOU possibly be unhappy about?”
But this question assumes your external world predicts your internal world. That it is your success, your money, your house, your car, etc. which makes you happy. But that formula to happiness is inaccurate, and here’s why...
Every time your brain reaches success, the goal post changes. Once you hit your sales goal, you’re going to have a bigger quota for next year. Once you get that promotion you’ve been waiting for, you’ll soon need another one. Once you get your house, now you’ll need a bigger house.
Though the brain loves certainty, your comfort zone, the brain also loves a healthy level of uncertainty, which is variety, adventure, newness. And once you reach our goals, or become experts at whatever you weren’t good at before, you become bored and start to crave more, something new. New desires form, which I believe is a good thing.
I believe our desires are a compass to our purpose. And when we follow our purpose, we start the process over, of stretching out of our comfort zone, into our discomfort zone, learning to adapt, and level up into the end zone. We level up into the next evolution of ourselves.
The cycle of growth, it never ends. And because this is a never ending cycle, you will never reach long term happiness IF your happiness is dependent on a goal post which is constantly moving — your success.
The truth is, if I know everything about your external world, I, or researchers for that matter, can only predict 10% of your long-term happiness. 90% of your long-term happiness is predicted by the way your brain processes the world.
According to Shawn Achor, a Harvard grad and psychologist who studied the science behind happiness and success, he found that your positivity level in the present has a direct correlation to your happiness and your success, which is the opposite of what most society believes and knows.
Let’s dive a little deeper into this...
25% of your success is determined by your IQ. 75% of your success is dependent on who you surround yourself with, your network, and your positivity level in the present.
Because you’re a high achiever, I’m going to assume you’ve got a great IQ, and you’ve got a great social and professional network. That is what has gotten you this far in your career, your profession. But how’s your positivity level?
Sure, you have a great time wherever you end up, and you’re fun to be around. But what happens to you when something goes wrong? When life throws you a curve ball and you don’t have control of the outcome, how do you respond? Do you experience stress as a threat or challenge? Do you fold and claim defeat?
Business, life for that matter, is full of brick walls of frustrations. The most successful and satisfied people reframe hardships as lessons, not losses, opportunities, not misfortunes. They believe life is happening for them, not to them, and they figure out how to transition their struggles into their muscle, strength, resilience, their power.
If this isn’t you, you’re not alone.
Our brains are naturally wired to be negative. Negativity is our default mode.
On average, 80% of our thoughts are negative. Our brain is scanning the world all day looking for danger, assuming, anticipating, interpreting the worst case scenario out of things so that it can protect you from danger.
Additionally, 95% of our thoughts are repetitive — we’re in habit mode. And habits help to conserve energy and make us efficient machines.
However when you combine these powers, we also find ourselves sitting in a lot of repeated negativity.
If this is your first time hearing these statistics, don’t be alarmed. I’d encourage you to give your brain some grace, because it has good intentions for you. Actually everything your mind/body does has good intentions for you, but they aren’t necessarily the best thing for us.. When we operate out of a default mode and instinctively, we don’t live to our full potential, and we don't live happy or fulfilled lives.
The good news here is, you’re NOT your brain. You have the power to rewire how you think and upgrade your thoughts, and increase your positivity level. And when you increase your positivity level in the present, you experience what is called a Happiness Advantage.
The Happiness Advantage, which was coined by Shawn Achor, means your brain at positive performs significantly better than it does at negative, neutral, or stressed. Significantly better means your intelligence rises, your energy increases, and you’re more creative.
The Happiness Advantage in organizations equates to:
Superior productivity
More resilience
Less burnout
Less turnover
Greater sales
And more!
And, dopamine, which is your "feel good" chemical related to reward and pleasure, not only makes you happier, it turns on all the learning centers in your brain, allowing you to adapt to the world in a different way. Adapting to the world in a different way could mean experiencing a paradigm shift — experiencing a change in how you see things, including yourself, which gives you new experiences. This empowers you to have a vision of possibilities. You start to realize you can do hard things and solve any problem, and you can grow through what you go through.
Maya Angelou says, “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”
Now that we know the benefits to increasing our positivity level, how do we do this??
According to Shawn Achor, there are few things you can start doing today to increase your positivity level in the present! I call these the 21 Day Challenge.
Before you get nervous by the 21 day commitment, because you’re soooo busy, your daily commitment will only cost you 2 minutes a day, so no excuses!
The 21 Day Challenge requires you to choose one of the exercises below, and commit to the exercise for at least 2 minutes a day for 21 days in a row.
Your 21 Day Challenge options include:
1) Daily Gratitude: Shawn Achor recommends for every new day, identify 3 new things you’re grateful for. As I mentioned before, your brain is wired to scan the world looking for danger. The exercise of gratitude will change the pattern of your brain so it starts to scan the world looking for positive as the first thing, rather than the negative.
2) Journal out a Win: For every new day, write out a victory from the day. This exercise will give your brain an opportunity to relive the experience and give you a surplus of energy.
3) Exercise: For every new day, commit to some sort of movement or exercise for at least 2 minutes. This could look like planks, sit ups, walking, etc. Whatever you choose, be consistent. This will help train your brain that behavior matters.
4) Meditation: Today, with all of our emails, apps, phone alerts, we've become easily distracted. Committing to a daily meditation for at least 2 minutes a day will help you focus on the task at hand. And when we’re focused, you accomplish more, and it feels good to have accomplishments.
5) Conscious Acts of Kindness: Everyday, do an conscious act of kindness. This could be a multitude of things, ie. sending an email to a direct report recognizing their hard work, or publicly praising a peer or employee for their efforts.
When you commit to one of these 5 activities for 21 days in a row, and for 2 minutes a day, you WILL rewire your brain and find yourself working more optimistically and successfully. You will find that these exercises will improve how you see and experience the world.
If you’re seeking further support, accountability, and and the right system to champion your journey to long-term happiness and success, then I’d love to gift you with a FREE Coaching Session.
In your coaching session, together we’d create an Inner Game Strategy for you that has you making an impact while making an income, and living a life of momentum, excitement, and fulfillment.
By the end of our conversation, you will have gained clarity about what you want, the best path forward to achieve it, and you will walk away with at least one major aha about how to break out of your stress and take action from a place of passion, momentum, and truth.
Check our Services to learn more about our coaching offerings!
If you love podcasts, catch Episode #7, You’re Doing Happiness Wrong, on Empowerhouse Life Coaching, the Podcast!